Hour of Slack #1630 – A THIRD EMACULATION?

At the 20X-Day festival, which sadly turned out to be only a 22nd X-Day Drill, Dr. K’taden Legume and Rev. Ivan Stang revealed, and then attempted to actually USE, a recently-unearthed invention by J.R. “Bob” Dobbs himself– a bizarre hybrid human-alien device/homunculus intended for use in directly communicating with the Xists themselves! The deeply disturbing story behind the device’s assembly — which involved Dr. Legume exhuming a corpse, and worse — is first told to the crowd of astounded SubGeniuses by Legume. Then Stang, “feeling lucky,” chose to volunteer himself as a channel or vessel for the device’s initial possibly-sacrificial activation. The results, heard on recordings here, are controversial to say the very least. Indeed they threaten to tear the Church apart! Rev. Stang literally died briefly then returned to this plane to blurt out what MAY be an “ALTERNATE X-DAY PROPHECY” involving new dates and times!… but with the year maddeningly left unspecified! In this episode, guests Dr. Hal and Lonesome Cowboy Dave help Wei and Stang in trying to decipher the meaning of the event. Reasonable explanation was made immeasurably more difficult by an (if anything) even more frustrating translation by Rev. Sinphalimus Exmortis of yet another message, a series of numbers and sentences in English encoded algorithmically within a burst of noise that accompanied the “device’s” activation. Thanks to an early release of the unedited recordings (this broadcast version being much truncated and devulgarized), already various SubGenius groups have jumped to conclusions and schismed into competing “denominations,” such as the “MAY DIE-ISTS” and the “DIDJU LIE?-ists,” the “Seventh Day Destructionists” and the “Fifths of Planetary Overdose-ists.” We Elders and Hierarchites of The SubGenius Foundation, Inc., strongly advise SubGeniuses NOT to cling to simplistic conclusions but to remember that “Bob” plays in mysterious ways, to quote the late St. Stymie Debergerac. We are personally tending toward a “WHY NOT BOTH” approach, although that is probably anathema to those pitiful creatures, the SubGenius Fundamentalists. Listeners are urged to view the photographs and videos of the devices and the blueprint at the various usual Members-Only Internet forums.
EXTREMELY IMPORTANT NOTE: This show includes new songs by Dr. Hal (“I AM A SUBGENIUS”) and by Dr. Faux (“Track 02”)!