The Satan Seller, by Mike Warnke

Mike Warnke was a Christian comedian who, in 1972, published The Satan Seller. In his “biography,” he described his long-haired protagonist beginning an as orphan and rises to the mantle of leader of a drug-dealing Satanic coven in California, engaging in wild orgies and an infamous Black Mass scene along the way.

“After the Invocation of Satan, I listened intently to the Offertory, where the members offered their souls to Lord Satan.

“‘Now!’ I suddenly shouted. … I drew an upside-down star on the girl’s stomach, with the freshly spilled blood. From the weird utterances that now came from her mouth, I knew we were being graced by the presence of one of the denizens of hell.

“On more than one occasion, I regret to admit, we participated in ritual sexual abuse that even involved rape. Most of the time I was too doped up to perform sexually, but I would watch these lust rituals with great desire.” – The Satan Seller, Mike Warnke

The Satan Seller by Mike Warnke

Among his most outlandish claims included:

– Satanists kill over two million people in the United States yearly
– Warnke was the High Priest of a Satanic coven of over 1,500 members (a number that, in reality, was exaggerated from its original 13)
– Warnke “found God,” left Satanism, and became a decorated war hero in Vietnam

Warnke, as a result of his new-found fame, profited off of the mass sale of his Christian comedy albums and started charities, which he embezzled from relentlessly. His fear-mongering tactics are almost singularly responsible for the Satanic Panic of the 80’s to come.

Warnke’s allegations were finally thoroughly dis-proven in a 1991 article by Cornerstone Magazine in which all 20,000 of his deceitful claims are debunked.

Mike Warnke

Mike Warnke’s life in comparison to his “biography” is described in detail on this website.