The bonds that bind us aren’t always romantic, sexual or familial. Sometimes, spirits are simply kindred. Friendship ties can often be the strongest, lasting, and most forgiving of all. How does one pursuing a life of individualism form and maintain these ties?
Marquis de Sade on Friendship
From Philosophy in the Bedroom:
“We shall respect [friends], very well, provided they remain useful to us; let us keep our friends, as long as they serve us; forget them immediately we have nothing further from them; ’tis never but selfishly one should love people; to love them for themselves is nothing but dupery; Nature never inspires other movements in mankind’s soul, other sentiments than those which ought to prove useful in some sort, good for something; nothing is more an egoist than Nature; then let us be egoists too, if we wish to live in harmony with her dictates.”
It is a given that friends ought to have something in common. To Sade, the strongest friendship ties were bonded by mutual self-interest. Only when two individuals’ needs and ambitions coincided could one be certain that both parties are working toward mutual benefit. Less powerful friendship ties, he asserted, ought to be maintained only insofar as they do not impede one’s agency.
Anton Szandor LaVey on Friendship
In keeping with Sade, LaVey was outspoken against what he called “psychic vampires” – those who would drain your resources without contributing anything of their own. The LaVeyan Satanist’s best friend is an equal contributor who expects nothing for free. As LaVey said, “What good are friends if they cant do you any good?”
How to Befriend a Satanist
Whether they’re theistic or atheistic, all Satanists value their freedom more than anything else. It’s important to make them feel like their decisions and opinions are being consulted, even if they’re not heeded; nothing enrages a Satanist more than being spoken for, or having their decisions assumed.
Satanists require lots of “me-time” and need plenty of space. Most are comfortable taking the initiative when it comes to hanging out – if they feel inclined, they’ll call you. If you’d like to plan an outing with a Satanist, propose it to them once and let them think about it, then ask later to gauge interest. Consistent feedback is important; the Satanist’s thoughts, like the rest of their lives, are rarely tethered down.
Satanists will rarely reach out for help when they’re feeling down. If you notice your Satanic buddy is upset, the best thing you can do is try to take their mind off of it. Bring up something else, or invite them out to do something. Let them take the initiative to share their feelings if they feel inclined.
Ultimately, if you give your Satanic friend plenty of space, understanding and consideration, they’ll be the most protective, loyal, and eccentric friend you’ll ever keep.
The desire to befriend people and socialize in groups is inherent to the human animal, and like all other impulses natural to us, it should be embraced. (If your natural impulse is to stay home instead, follow it!) However, the Satanist should be aware that his or her self-actualization, individuality and freedom is chief to their spiritual development; they should be careful not to allocate their resources to people who would seek to tie them down, alter them, or fail to support their ambitions.